Our lives will never be the same, and we couldn't be happier.

This is a long one, a really long one so hang in there :)

(and I apologize in advance for the excess of smilies)

Before we share, we really want to thank all our friends, family, and blogging friends. We know how many of you think about us and our situation and have truely gone out of your way to help. It completely humbles us and fills us with gratitude to know how much you all care. We know that it is with the help of your thoughts and prayers that our lives are changing :)

I know that our Heavenly Father has a plan for us. I know how much He loves us and is constantly aware of us and our needs. I wish I could see the rhyme and reason behind this plan all at once, but I am grateful to see it unfold and for the bits of understanding I am given. I know that Heavenly Father would give us everything we've ever dreamed of if it was what was best for us. I know that He wants to bless us, but more than that, He wants us to be like Him so that we can live with Him again. So we have trials and challenges. I am so glad to say that I am grateful for that. I'm grateful to see how the last 5-1/2 years have changed Zach and I, and that we are better for having experienced what we have.

We are also very excited to be moving onto another chapter of change and growth in our lives.

We found out in January that I am pregnant.

We are still in shock and utter amazement. Especially because we thought it impossible. We were told that if we tried every month for 30 years straight that we might be able to get pregnant once. Once in 30 years were the odds and we are so excited that that "once" came!
We are also still adjusting to the idea. It's been overwhelming because I have not been preparing for pregnancy, I've been preparing for adoption. And while thrilled, change is always hard for me. I'm stubborn and like to plan, but am happy to make this change. This change is an easier change for me to make because I know in my heart that our journey to adopt is only on hold. I know that adoption is a part of our future, I guess just not our immediate future, and I find great comfort in that. When we took our adoption classes they talked about how when dealing with infertility we needed to grieve the loss of the child we wouldn't have, and that was hard for me to do. I know that I don't have to grieve the child that will come to our family through adoption, because I know they will still come :)

I have to admit too, that I feel a bit unloyal. Almost like I should take off my infertility and adoption badges of honor. I feel almost like I've been made a liar. But infertility and our journey to adopt is a part of me, it has made me who I am and will always be our story.

So for some fun details! Back in January after a couple weeks of emotions, weird pains, 9:30 am on-the-dot nausea, and a lot more emotions (poor Zach) Zach convinced me that I needed to take a pregnancy test. I told him he'd gone crazy. But he was right, and he was excited from the very beginning. At the first site of the positive test I immediately turned to google to tell me all the reasons and diseases I could have that would make a false positive. It just couldn't be!
5 tests and 3 days later (I just didn't believe it) we made our first Dr. appointment.

10 days later we saw the tiniest most amazing little heart beat I could ever imagine seeing. I finally really believed it was real :) Although every morning it all seems like a dream, and then I want to throw up and am heaved back into reality.

Today we had our second ultrasound and saw our little G's face and saw it wiggle. Just amazing. I'm just as shocked today as the day we found out. It's just such a miracle.
I am 11 weeks, due September 13th. It will the longest, greatest year yet.