And so is my birthday and its a big one. 30. I'm not sad or afraid, no, I feel I've earned it. AND now having the gray hairs I have to hide won't be so bad, right? (I started going gray when I was 21. Sad.)
Anyway, with our trying to adopt, I think a lot about what it was like when I was born for my Grandma. When my grandma and grandpa decided to have children they tried for four years before finding out they would never be able to have biological children. They immediately turned to adoption. It was so different back then. They were placed on a list and it was essentially first come first served. They waited another four years to adopt their first son, and a few years later were surprised to find out they would get a daughter. It was very typical to only be able to adopt one child, so this was an enormous blessing. That daughter was my birth mother.
When my mother got pregnant with me, my grandmother was there for her. My birth father wasn't. He didn't stay in the picture for long. My grandmother was there for everything she went through, all the appointments, ultrasounds. She got to hear my heartbeat and feel my mother's belly when I kicked. She was there when I was born and even got to name me.
For 8 years I was her granddaughter. Then she and my grandfather were able to adopt me as well. She is one of the few people I know who can relate to what we've gone through which is something I have been SO grateful for. This challenge in our life is quite a lonely one at times.
As I've let myself ponder the adoptive parent role I appreciate what she was able to experience with my birth. She explained to me how much being there for all those moments were so amazing, they were the closest thing she would ever experience to being pregnant herself and she cherished every bit of it. She is so wonderful and I feel so blessed to have been her daughter. I'm amazed everyday how the Lord makes families and the lengths He must go through at times to get all of His children where they need to be. I've always had a testimony that I was raised in the family I needed to be in. Having this testimony has been a wonderful strength in my life as we wait for our children to join our family.
I'm so grateful for Eternal families. I'm so grateful to be sealed to my parents and to Zach. I'm so grateful that Heavenly Father designed such a beautiful plan that would bring us so much joy in this life!
Anyway, with our trying to adopt, I think a lot about what it was like when I was born for my Grandma. When my grandma and grandpa decided to have children they tried for four years before finding out they would never be able to have biological children. They immediately turned to adoption. It was so different back then. They were placed on a list and it was essentially first come first served. They waited another four years to adopt their first son, and a few years later were surprised to find out they would get a daughter. It was very typical to only be able to adopt one child, so this was an enormous blessing. That daughter was my birth mother.
When my mother got pregnant with me, my grandmother was there for her. My birth father wasn't. He didn't stay in the picture for long. My grandmother was there for everything she went through, all the appointments, ultrasounds. She got to hear my heartbeat and feel my mother's belly when I kicked. She was there when I was born and even got to name me.
For 8 years I was her granddaughter. Then she and my grandfather were able to adopt me as well. She is one of the few people I know who can relate to what we've gone through which is something I have been SO grateful for. This challenge in our life is quite a lonely one at times.
As I've let myself ponder the adoptive parent role I appreciate what she was able to experience with my birth. She explained to me how much being there for all those moments were so amazing, they were the closest thing she would ever experience to being pregnant herself and she cherished every bit of it. She is so wonderful and I feel so blessed to have been her daughter. I'm amazed everyday how the Lord makes families and the lengths He must go through at times to get all of His children where they need to be. I've always had a testimony that I was raised in the family I needed to be in. Having this testimony has been a wonderful strength in my life as we wait for our children to join our family.
I'm so grateful for Eternal families. I'm so grateful to be sealed to my parents and to Zach. I'm so grateful that Heavenly Father designed such a beautiful plan that would bring us so much joy in this life!
5 comments:
Happy Pre-Birthday! I love 30. I don't understand all the woe and dread people speak about. I like your take on things. Love you!
Awe Jen this makes me cry. Then again a lot of your blogs do. I know I say this all the time but you will be such an amazing mother. Every child deserves to be loved as much as you already love yours, wherever they are.
I just realized that I will come home THE day before your B-day. We'll have to hang out. What should we do?
You have an amazing grandma. And I can't believe you're going to be 30! I can't believe I am going to be 30! Kinda scary eh? I am still praying for you and your hubby.
Grandma is amazing. I love this picture, so much happiness in that moment and you seem to be looking right at her This is a beautiful post.
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